Life on Repeat
by youkai chick supreme
Summary: Doesn't matter how much time has passed, or how little, you can never go back. Two old flames meet up again, but they learn that rewinding life is impossible. RiSo


A/n: Well, no one cares about my sequel to "Smash" (cries)

Dedication: Well, no one cares about my sequel to "Smash" (cries); _except_ Angel-o-Darkness. So you know what, this is dedicated to you girl! Thank you for your loyalty, I appreciate it!

Written while listening to the KH2 soundtrack, mainly Namine's theme. Holy shit, listen to it if you haven't already. It's beautiful.

Special Note: Gah, I messed up the timeline! Big, big thanks to The Critic Zoa for using her sharp eye and mind and catching my mistake! So thank you girl! You rock!

Disclaimer: Oh the things I would do to them if they were mine… But they aren't.

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"Thank you." The silver haired man sitting near the door takes the cup the waitress offers to him slowly, letting his finger tips brush the ceramic handle as well as the young girl's hand nonchalantly. While he is talking to the girl, his eyes remain trained on the door, waiting, always waiting.

He brushes the waitress off unknowingly, sipping his black coffee. Taking his eyes off the door for a moment, he checks his watch and scoffs silently. 'He's late.' He thinks, '20 minutes late.'

He is too busy reminiscing about all the other times the brunet has been late that he doesn't hear the door open, despite being right next to it. He jumps a little when an all too familiar voice calls out his name from beside him.

"Hey Riku, it's been a while, hasn't it?" The newcomer's face is familiar, just like his voice. The only thing that's different, Riku notes, is that the boy has grown a couple inches taller.

"Hello Sora. It's been way too long." '2 months and 6 days on the dot since I bumped into you at the supermarket; and 5 months, 13 days before that that you walked out on me.' Riku reprimands himself silently for knowing exactly how long Sora has been absent from his life. And for letting him slip away in the first place.

"So how's everything?" Sora asks, removing his red down jacket, placing it around the chair opposite Riku and sitting. The waitress, same little blonde bird of a girl, hovers uncertainly behind Sora, unsure as to whether or not she should ask to take this order yet.

Riku waves her over with a single fine boned finger and takes a sip of his coffee as Sora orders a latte, extra caramel, extra whipped cream. Riku smiles into his cup, same old Sora.

As the waitress flutters away, Riku realizes he never answered.

"I'm fine. School's going well, job's decent. What about you?" He hesitates, wishes he didn't have to ask, but he knows he has to. It's best friend code of honor, and the ex's duty to ask. "How's Kairi?"

"Oh, good. She's good. Got a new job, working at a bank now. She's always been good with numbers." They both pause, unsure as to what is safe to say, when the waitress arrives with Sora's super sugary drink.

"Riku… I'm sorry…" Sora begins but Riku is already waving his hand, trying to dispel the words Sora so desperately wishes to convey.

"It's fine. We're better off as friends anyway. You said so yourself, we just don't mesh well as lovers. It's okay." Riku puts his cup down but keeps his hands on it, desperate for something to hold on to, something to stop his hands from shaking like they are.

'Just don't mesh well as lovers.' Sora had screamed this to him the night he left, in a flurry of broken dreams and hopes torn apart by conflicting wishes. After all, Sora wanted to leave, Riku wanted him to stay. While he committed to memory Sora's angry face and the shape of his tensed shoulders as he left, Riku could not, for the life of him, remember what had started the argument that led to his lover leaving him. He didn't think it was enough to warrant breaking up.

"Riku." Sora pulls him from his memories to the here and now and for a moment Riku forgets that they are not together anymore. He forgets that Sora left him, for a girl, and that she is 8 months p-pregnant (he can't help stuttering over that word, even in his mind), and due in a few weeks.

"Riku," the brunet says again and despite himself, Riku still shudders upon hearing it, "Riku, sometimes… when I'm with Kairi, I can't help but wonder what it would be like if I were still with you."

And just like that, in that honest, blunt way only Sora is capable of, Riku is falling apart all over again.

"…What do you want me to say to that? What could I possibly say to that, Sora?" And in an instant, the whole café is gone, no humming bird waitresses or crying toddlers (God, Sora would have one of those soon, Riku thinks absently) or pregnant boyfriend stealing ex-best friends. Riku forgets how to breathe for a second, then gasps in all the air he can in the next.

"Nothing Riku, forget I said anything… Maybe I should leave." Sora gulps down the last of his drink, the ceramic mug clinking lightly on the countertop, and digs through his jeans for money.

"Stop it Sora. You brought it up so don't you dare run away now. You're always running away from me." Riku tilts his head this way and that, trying, and failing, to spear Sora's gaze with his own. But Sora has always been an evasive creature when he wants to be.

"I never ran away from you Riku, you're the one who pushed me away." Sora lets his eyes rest on his empty mug, but he doesn't really see it. He just wants to remain out of the gravity of Riku's gaze, because he knows if he looks, he'll be captured by that fathomless aquamarine stare all over again. And he knows that's not what he wants or needs.

"Liar. You are such a fucking liar I can't stand it. You ran away last July, remember? You were the one who said you 'just don't feel the same;' and that 'we don't mesh well as lovers.' You're the one that ran away with your tail between your legs like some scared piss-less little puppy."

'Did I do something wrong? Did I make some terrible mistake that made you stop loving me? Did you just get tired of me? I don't get it Sora, why?' Riku wants to ask, but the words lodge in his throat, stuck thick by pride and what was left of his self- esteem.

"I was not scared Riku. I was just sick and tired of your bullshit. Telling me you loved me and you couldn't understand how lucky you were to have me and that you would die if I left you, it was crazy Riku. It was just too much for me to handle. I mean fuck, we're only 22." Sora shifts, just thinking about Riku's soul-baring confessions makes him anxious.

"So you left me because I loved you too much? Is that what you're telling me?" Riku chokes back his heart as it lurches violently up his throat, washing it back with another sip of bitter black, too strong coffee. He chooses not to comment on the age reference, because if 22 is too young to fall head over feet in love, then how can Sora be old enough to be a father?

"Riku…" Sora shifts in his seat, pokes at a sugar packet guiltily, but can't quite seem to finish his sentence.

"Hmph, I don't know what to say Sora, I really don't know what to say to you anymore. Congratulations, best of luck in the future and all that. Good bye."

And just like that, the spell is broken, and life fast forwards. Sound and color and circumstance return, and for a second Riku is too overwhelmed to even feel.

But it doesn't last long and Riku makes himself pick up his navy pea-coat, throw some money on the table and walk out the door, expecting to never see or hear from Sora again.

But that doesn't make it hurt any less.

End

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End Note: I can so see Sora as dropping out of college, and then knocking up his girlfriend. And if you notice the timeline, Kairi gets knocked up a mere 1 ½ weeks, roughly, after Sora and Riku split. Nice, right? Sora is so callous to Riku's feelings, but Riku leaves him this time! Fickle Sora, getting cold feet and trying to run back, but you can never go back. Duh.

Sorry if this doesn't flow… I have issues writing dialogue sometimes, can you tell?

Review please, things have been bad; health issues, psychological issues, (feel free to ask in a review) and I need cheering up. Desperately. Thank you for reading!


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